Tue 7 September 2010 8:38 am

other news:

Excommunicate! Dr Who star in bid for papacy
Actor Christopher Eccleston has expressed an interest in becoming the new Pope [more...]

God fights controversial best-seller
The Almighty speaks out against ridiculous claims made in best-selling book [more...]

Devil arrested in Florida
News of the arrest of Lucifer, Prince of Darkness, chief spirit of evil, adversary of God, tempter of mankind and master of Hell in raid on illegal casino in Florida [more...]

Aliens vs Concert Party Greenlighted
Classic Sci-Fi/BBC comedy crossover given the go-ahead [more...]

Pooh Arrested
More drunken behaviour from the Bear-Of-Very-Little-Brain [more...]

Secrets of Oz Unearthed
Shocking deleted scenes and out-takes from the Wizard of Oz discovered [more...]

War on Earth's Core
President George W Bush declares war on the Earth's core in retaliation for earthquake [more...]

US Military issue set of collectables
Consternation over the US Military's scheme to catch Iraqi war criminals by issuing soldiers with trading cards [more...]

Sad's Army: New Series
Return of the popular series featuring the exploits of the boys of the Republican Home Guard during Gulf War 2 [more...]

Trek Star Speaks!
Interview with Patrick Stewart, taking break from his portrayal of Mekon in forthcoming Hollywood blockbuster [more...]

Not Fair!
Bin Laden in chat show pledge to continue terror [more...]

Royal Family drawn to the Dark Side
Queen reveals that the force is strong with the Duke of Edinburgh [more...]

Plastermind Revisited
Rake the hidden toad [more...]

Countryside Alliance March
Fasten all gates. Keep your dogs under control. Use gates and stiles to cross fences, hedges and walls. Leave livestock, crops and machinery alone. [more...]

Carry on Christ
Film world rocked by discovery of controversial "lost" Carry On film [more...]

Giant Police
Dramatic drop in crime in city centre following the introduction of giant officers [more...]

Priests Strike
Industrial action by the church enters third week; no sign of reconciliation between clergy and God [more...]

Belligerent Ghouls
Manchester headmaster behind bars after allegations made in opening track on album [more...]

The Cost of Meetings
Report reveals that British Industry loses 500,000 working years per annum due to meetings [more...]

Genetic Modification
Shocking revelation that GM organisms have been around for centuries [more...]

artwork for the proposed poster

SECOND ALIENS / BBC COMEDY CROSSOVER FILM PLANNED

T.A.M.P.O.N. exclusive

Following the runaway success of the Aliens crossover movie, Aliens vs Concert Party, Fox and the BBC have put their heads together to come up with a sequel. Taking the winning formula from the previous film, studio bosses this time decided to combine the blockbusting franchise with the BBC's classic seventies sitcom Porridge.

Named Alien in Porridge, the film caused a sensation when it was revealed that original Alien director Ridley Scott would be at the helm, ably assisted by the BBC's Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais.

A remake of the poorly received Alien 3, the film picks up where Aliens vs Concert Party left off; returning to Earth from LV-426, the Sulaco experiences an emergency, and everyone in cryostatis is ejected in an escape pod, which crashes on Fiorina or "Fury" 161, a forgotten prison planet under the harsh jurisdiction of Warden Mackay (Fulton Mackay). As the only survivor, Ripley is quickly befriended by convict and old hand Norman Stanley Fletcher (Ronnie Barker).

"Rumour Control, here are the facts" Warden Mackay lays down the law to Ripley and prison planet inmate Fletcher.

Fletch is questioned by Assistant Warder "eighty-five" Barrowclough, unaware that they are being watched by a sinister intruder.

Featuring many of the original Porridge cast members, Alien in Porridge remains true to the original story, and following Mackay's death at the hands of the alien, the convicts turn to fellow inmate and religious leader "Lukewarm" Dillon (Christopher Biggins) for guidance, ignoring the protests of Assistant Warder "eighty-five" Barrowclough (Brian Wilde). However, as the prisoners are picked off, one by one, panic sets in...

The film is expected to go on general release in the summer.

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