Gary Numan's DIY Tips
do-it-yourself advice from the Godfather of Electronica
Project Morf from the internet asks:
I keep having obscene dreams in my rusty bed and can smell the lust in my hand. I pull on me 'cause I need to. Does this constitute "Doing it Yourself"?
Hmm, not quite sure what you're driving at there, Project! Seriously though, rust can be a problem and a bit of a health and safety hazard if it's on your bed or if you get the smelly variety on your hands in Japan. You might want to consider investing in a wooden bed; you might want to consider one of the rust converter treatments you can buy in garages as they're pretty good at removing surface rust - a sand blaster can be pretty effective too!
Graham Cardigan from Cricklewood asks:
My car slides and the radio plays heaven something. Is there any way that I can get a clearer signal when going through the Rotherhithe tunnel without having to take my hand off the steering wheel and fiddle with the tunnel knob?
Sounds like you're being sensible - taking your hands off the wheel whilst driving is always a bit hairy, especially in tunnels! I'd suggest making a special journey through the tunnel during the rush hour and adjusting the tunnel knob when at a standstill in a traffic jam - and then leaving it like that permanently. Alternatively, you could treat yourself to an in-car CD player and listen to a CD of The Skin Mechanic when in tunnels.
PM from the internet asks:
My "friend" has broke down. Are friends electric? I'd like to know whether I need an electrician or a bio-engineer.
I know what you mean - it can get confusing these days, what with the gas companies selling electricity and the electricity companies selling gas! The simplest way to check is to have a look and see if your friend has a three pin plug which plugs into the mains. If that's the case - your friend's electric. If, on the other hand your friend has a pipe with a stopcock, he or she very probably runs on gas. Of course there are alternatives - old fashioned coal-fired friends are still common in some parts of the country!
Vera Lynn from Redbridge, Essex asks:
The light fades out and I wonder what I'm doing in a room like this. Problem is, the bulb's broken off inside its fitting! How can I change it?
Phew, that's a dodgy one! First make sure that the power's turned off and then push a vegetable like a carrot or potato onto the broken glass - you should then be able to turn the bulb with safety! Don't use tomatoes though - they can be dangerous. Although they're not really vegetables - they're fruit. Look it up if you don't believe me!
Jim Bunnyphone from Enfield, Middlesex asks:
It's cold outside, and the paint's peeling off my walls. Is there a way to combine insulating my house with repainting it?
Why, yes there is! You need to get some insulating house paint - the name's pretty self explanatory and it works well too, thanks to insulating ceramics technology developed by NASA for the space program. There's also an insulating additive you can pour into paint which works just as well.
Margaret Muggchotte from Middle Wallop, Hampshire asks:
Here in my car I'd feel safest of all if I could lock all the doors - unfortunately I don't have central locking. Is there any way I can install this myself?
It can be done if you're patient and a dab hand with the old screwdriver! It'd probably take a bit long to explain here but I'm sure if you went to a car alarm centre they'd be happy to show you the ropes. Do bear in mind that a lot of the time it might be quicker and easier to get them to do it - one of the few occasions when it's better not to Do It Yourself!
That's all for now, but remember to email your questions to numan@catmachine.com.
Me, I disconnect from you.
coming soon... Phil Oakey's Cookery Corner
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